Three Derby Wins

At a Halloween party this weekend I met Gary Stevens the hall of fame jockey.

I love horse racing, and so I was genuinely really excited to meet him. This guy has been the winner of the Kentucky Derby three times, and is almost a Triple Crown winner...and it got me to thinking was one win better than the others?

I mean, when you do something amazing three times, is it better the first time- or the last time?

This guy has a few kids, including a 16 month old daughter he has with his smoking hot second wife, who I also met at that party. I have had people tell me the the day their child was born was the best day of their lives, and although I really wanted to ask him if the birth of his children were better days for him than crossing the finish line first at Church Hill Downs I kept myself from it.

So this dude was born in March of 1963 and I was born in November 1963 that makes him 8 months and three Derby wins ahead of me.

I've never done anything incredible in my life and it bugs me every single day.

Granted I have never tried to be a jockey, so am not literally comparing myself to Gary Stevens, its just being around people who are really accomplished in some unique way it makes me wonder-what the fuck...why am I not really excellent at something.

And then I come to the same conclusion, I'm not really good at anything that people give a shit about.

I could make a lame list of the things I am competent - like anyone else- but objectively I'm not really excellent at anything. I'm not saying this in any self deprecating way, I don't think most people are excellent at one particular thing- I'm just not sure it bothers people as much as it bothers me.

I've always considered myself ambitious- but really if I was truly ambitious wouldn't I be more than I am today?

I passed the California Bar examination the first time I took it- so there's that- but that was in 1992- a good eightteen years ago..so I'm about due to do something else anytime now. I can only bask in this glory for so long- and in all honesty I think the statue has run on this accomplishment at this point

My first problem with doing something "amazing" is I will need to try something "amazing" in order to accomplish it. This will be the most troubling part of the task for me- as although I think about climbing Mt. Everest frequently, I consider trying to swim the English Chanel monthly, and I would be willing to be a part of any space exploration program- I don't see any of these as true opportunities, so I'm somewhat limited.

I know I should try to be the best parent I can to my daughters- and that this accomplishment should be beyond all.

I think its time for me to accept I may never be asked to take my picture at a toddlers Halloween party by someone who knows I did something exceptional...like winning the Kentucky Derby three times....yet it occurs to me as long as I am the best person I can be for my daughters nothing else really matters.

Yet still, winning the Derby- it has to be pretty sweet....