A diversion from working....

So I have this thing- when I didn't have a "job"- as in when I was working as a contract attorney, I was constantly thinking about getting a job-job. Now I have a job-job and I constantly worry about loosing it...which maybe if I was working instead of writing this stupid blog I could relieve some of my stress...

But I won't do that- I will continue to write this and in a few minutes I'll go outside and smoke...so theres that.

I don't help myself in any way.

Gioconda's father says if it was fun to work you wouldn't get paid for it...which has certainly been my experience. I know I shouldn't complain- because I get paid a relatively good amount of money in relation to the actual work I do- meaning I was sweeper at Disneyland for about $12.34 an hour during college and that really sucked shit, so comparatively...

Its difficult for me to find a comfortable spot in most situations- work is no different I suppose.

Recently I have considered what I think must be the most difficult job on the planet, pre-school teacher. It must be completely unnerving, I have two and find it utterly overwhelming- I can't imagine having 30...

Tonight I was cleaning up the kitchen and for reasons still unknown to me Sadie got so upset she stopped breathing.

This is something she does...and it freaks me out like nothing I have ever experienced. Our pediatrician says at worse she will pass out and then start breathing...great.

Here's the problem- no one bothers to mention this stuff when you are considering having children.

It would have been nice for someone to just say something like ;

" By the way, if you have children your life wil become a preoccupation of keeping them alive, and this is a one way street- your childern will not be on the same page and will frequently do things contra indicated to living..."

I love my daughters beyond measure- yet had I had any working knowledge of what it would be like...

After I told a friend of mine we were expecting twins she gave me a really tight hug. At the time I thought she was just happy for me, but now I know what she meant- I wish she would have just said the words-

" You have no fucking clue what is about to happen to you..."