Ford Flex

For the last ten years I have driven a BMW or a Mercedes.

I know this makes me sound like an asshole, but its the truth. Last year around this time I traded in my E series Mercedes for a Ford Flex.

Gioconda was driving a Range Rover, and after we got the Ford Flex she drove that car and I drove the Ranger Rover.

Now, for a variety of reasons she has decided she wants to drive the Ranger Rover leaving me with the Ford Flex.

Here's the thing, I pay the payment on the Ford Flex, and she pays the lease on the Ranger Rover and the Ranger Rover is significantly more- so for the past year I have been a Ranger Rover driver on a Ford Flex payment.

Its unfair I know, yet driving that Ford today I really missed the Ranger Rover to the extent that I really don't care about the inequity- I want that car back.

Now I'm a Ford Flex driver- and all that means....

Gioconda has six children, objectively she should be driving a car with three rows of seats. So now its just me driving in my big long Ford Flex.

Unfortunately we have a total of 5 cars, two of which aren't driven. Although I hold no ownership interest in one of the cars (Joe's Jeep), I am co-owner of the other two cars - one of which is not currently operational due to a leaking gas tank...

Tonight I offered to give Gioconda full ownership in those two cars, just to allow me to drive the Ranger Rover until the end of the term of the lease.

She said no.

So- it looks like for the next five years I'll be a Ford Flex driver.

What bothers me about driving the Ford Flex, is that it bothers me so much. I have recently said I was done with expensive cars, they cost too much to maintain and in the end just doesn't seem worth the extra money.

I have now rethought this position.

At the end of the month I am going to be 47, which means by the time I am able to dump the Ford Flex I will be 52- that is I will be 52 driving a Ford Flex.

I have little kids, so every day I do the math- how old will I be when they graduate from high school (63), how old will I be when they turn 13 and begin to really make our lives intolerable (58)... every mile stone has a number attached to it- that number being my age.

I am feeling really old these days, the skin around my eyes look like the before Botox ad that pops up on my e-mail. The other mothers at the My Gym class could easily be my daughters, I am now officially in my late 40's.

Here is the stark reality-now I'm not only old- now I also drive a lame car.