I Hate Lucy

I detest the "I LOVE LUCY" show.

It has been around since I remember and it has caused me anxiety since I can remember.

The show is about lies, manipulation, and deceit. Think about it, Lucy was always trying to get Ricky to do something he didn't want to do through some elaborate scheme which unravels in the end causing a some sort of disaster and after everything is said and done all is forgiven yet still...it really is just a lot of bull shit.

Granted I have never been a fan of zany or slap stick- I hate the Three Stooges, I find Robin Williams (the comic not my brother in law) intolerable. Yet, there really isn't any form of visual entertainment I abhor as much as "I LOVE LUCY". When Gioconda and I went to Spain a few years back we went to a Modern Art Museum and one of the exhibits was this whacked out film in which an old lady fills a room with boxes, one after another and it made me want to tear off my head and throw it against a wall; however, given the choice to experience the whacked out film exhibit or "I LOVE LUCY"- I'm taking the box lady.

There was not one functional relationship in that entire show. The Mertz's relationship with each other, and the Mertz's relationship with the Richardo's , pure dysfunction on every level.

I mean, how did those two hook up anyway? Was it ever explained how this Cuban guy ended up with a crazy ginger. What did Lucy do before she got involved with Ricky, did anyone even to bother to investigate that?

I know, people- especially fags- adore Lucille Ball, which is hard for me to understand as from what I have read she was a bitter and ugly woman.

"You're funny like Lucille Ball," my Grandmother used to tell me.

Wow. Thanks. I guess she was the only funny woman my Grandmother knew of, yet the thought that I was at all like Lucille Ball really grossed me out.

The other day Aidan and Gioconda were watching an episode and actually laughing out loud and I had the urge to knife them both.

I resisted the urge.