Troy Shelly

In high school my cousin Erin dated this guy named Troy Shelly.

I know very little about Troy Shelly other than 1. my cousin was really crazy over this guy and after they broke up, no matter who she was dating Troy Shelly kept a little piece of her heart and 2.Troy Shelly may have or may not have been in some type of law enforcement the last time my cousin spoke to him.

So...one time when we were talking about this woman I was dating who dumped me, and how although I was aware of the inevitability, she held this little piece of me.

"She's your Troy Shelly," she said. And she was right.

I think everyone has their Troy Shelly somewhere along the way, someone you REALLY like but just doesn't quite fit into the puzzle of your life, the shape is sort of there and if forced it could fit- but it just doesn't...and you and Troy both know it and when Troy breaks up with you...and he will break up with you, it takes a while to really let Troy Shelly go...

So, I let my Troy Shelly go about 9 years ago, but it took a while. We haven't seen each other in a few years and so this last week my Troy Shelly sent me an e-mail asking for some legal advice.

And I happily gave it...because she was my Troy Shelly after all.

So today at this second birthday party I had Camille on my lap and Camille put her hand on another persons leg thinking it was my leg and then reached for the ladies hand. Upon seeing red nail polish Camille realizes she is not holding my hand and she recoiled a little bit because it freaked her out.

And so it reminded me of this time when I was about three or four while I was at my Grandparents I climbed into the lap of a man I thought was my Grandfather and it was really a visiting friend who I didn't know at all, and I was horrified.

I'm not what I would describe as a hugger, I would say overall I do my best to really limit the physical contact I have with most people, I trace it back to this moment.

One time a friend told me she would absolutely never forget the embarrassment of when she was a child finding out the woman she was hugging in the grocery store wasn't her mother but some other woman whose hair sort of looked like her mother's...

In every fully lived life there is a Troy Shelly...as there is a a moment of stark realization you reached for a person you thought was someone else...