Twins

Last weekend in Berkeley within six hours I met four people who told me they were a twin and two sets of twins together.

I mentioned it to Julien and Gioconda at dinner.

"I mean, I bet in the last three years of my life I've met that many twins," I said.

" Maybe thats true, but really how many people you casually interact with on a daily basis give you that type of information about themselves? I could have a ton of friends who are twins they just haven't told me because it didn't seem relevant," Julien replied.

Funny how I didn't meet as many twins before I HAD TWINS...duh.

So now I am connected to those who are twins.

But what is strange is how fascinated people are with the twins. Fortunately for me, Gioconda doesn't mind interacting with strangers who all say the same thing.

"Are they twins?" Which objectively is a really stupid thing to ask, but I chalk it up to people just thinking out loud.

And then they say," A boy and a girl?" Gioconda says its because Camille is bigger, but I think she sort of looks like a boy, but she doesn't care because she likes her hair short. I prepare myself for the "who is the mother?" question, which we have gotten a hand full of times.

The whole thing is awkward for me. Gioconda is so much more out there with everything, she enjoys it.

Before the girls were born I asked her what she thought she would say if someone asked who the father was.

"They don't have a father they have two mothers," she replied.

She's right, but still there is a part inside of me that winces a little bit every time someone stops us to ask us..are they twins? and then...a boy and a girl? and then I wait for the next question...

It feels so strange to love my daughters as much as I do, and feel so utterly connected to them, yet still feel somewhat displaced in my relationship to them for no other reason but for the way I think others perceive us.

Today we took the girls to Heritage Day in Placentia. Placentia is the city I grew up located in Northern Orange County.

During the election in November I couldn't stand to visit my parents, who still live in the city, as by the time I reached their house I would have driven by hundreds of YES on 8 signs. Northern Orange County is crazy conservative. When I was in high school and college there were numerous Gay bashings in the area.

Growing up I always looked forward to Heritage Days, I was in the parade countless times. I mean, who doesn't love a carnival, fried food, dangerous rides, those feeder fish in the little jars. Its been something I looked forward to taking the girls, and I looked forward to taking the girls because for some reason after living in with the constant oppression I felt every minute of every hour I lived there for twenty five years it didn't occur to me that perhaps Gioconda and I along with our little girls would not be necessarily welcome.

Within 5 minutes I knew I had made a mistake. Although not openly hostile, people were less than friendly.

So we are sitting eating pulled pork with my sister and my nephew Parker and I am on edge because of this weird overall vibe, and all women have those square on the end acrylic nails, painted with a french manicure, and my sister sees this lady and her kid approaching she says to me," This kid is in Parker's scout group and they are very VERY conservative."

Great. I'm not enough on edge. I size her up and decide she can't kick my ass, so what's the worse that could happen. She could give me one of those little pamphlets about accepting Christ as my Savior, or I guess she could yell at us and run away causing a disruption at Heritage Days, yet after making the determination I could take her in hand to hand combat, I wasn't as concerned.

My sister introduces us to the lady and within a second she asks," So whose babies are these?"

"Ours", Gioconda and I reply at the same time. And then, just in case she didn't hear it I repeated, "Ours."

And then there was a pause and then," Oh."

This pretty much ended the conversation. The lady sat with her boy scout son for a few more minutes. The whole time I'm thinking she is damming us to hell or trying to slip a Bible into the diaper bag.

As she was leaving she said to me, " Your babies are very cute, I'm a twin."

So now I am connected to those who are twins...