See But Don't Say

There has been a lot going on here at 2107 Santa Rosa, but I can't write about any of the more interesting things...

The dogs have been enjoying a new dog food called "Chef Michael", we were able to fix the air conditioner from leaking water on the basement floor, the refridge will now beep randomly and repeatedly , which typically occurs in the early morning hours....these are the safe topics I am allowed to blog about.

"You need to blog about your own life," Gioconda says.

This leads me to ponder - what exactly is my life? Apparently, my life isn't inclusive of the happens here at the home I am living, paying 1/2 of the mortgage and the water bill...my life consists of the more mundane...baby poop, speculation as to what happened the black and white cat to cause on puncture wound on her left leg- which I successfully have treated with antibiotic ointment, trying to figure out what is causing the mold smell in the towels....so this is my "life".

The fundamental problem is that the "life" I "own" is it is felony boring. I get to experience a lot of crazy shit- I just can't talk (or write) about it.

"Is that a dead raccoon on his head or did he cut his hair that way," I said on Monday. There is more to this story...unfortunately here in the world of see but don't say I am forbidden from continuing.

Last week I made a list of all the terrible things that have happened to Gioconda over the last three years.

" Why would you even do that," she said when I asked her if she wanted to see it.

"I was thinking I could use it for my memoir," I replied.

"For YOUR memoir?," she asked.

Granted the list of events did not happen to me directly; however, how am I ever going to be Oprah's book selection with stories about how I tricked the cat into taking a pill.

Things go down here at 2107 which would make a killer reality show- sure I am in the periphery, yet I should still be able to write about SOMETHING.

I have suggested a formula in which I have authorization to write about one out of every five situations in which I am technically not a participant. Last week I blogged about an interaction I had with one of her friends.

"I guess this is fine if you don't mind that she will end up hating you and this will completely end your relationship with her," she said after she read it and right before I deleted it.

In truth, I am tethered to about 10 people in my orbit- so to have her hate me and keep my blog entry was a fair trade.

"I thought it was funny," I replied. She just shook her head.

"You will need up damaging your relationships for your blog," she said.

I'm a person who is not that connected to sound, she is just going to have to give me something more compelling.