Facebook "Friends"

Gioconda says people like facebook because it is voyeuristic.

I think she's right. A glimpse into the life of someone you would really never have had the opportunity. Currently I have 234 "friends" on facebook; however, if I have a put together a party of 10 of my friends I'd be hard pressed.

I have blogged in the past that maybe there is a reason people drift away from high school friends, and I have personally found some of my "reconnection's" unsettling. Yet, within the primordial soup of facebook "friends" there are those few who make it worth the while.

When I encounter a random person I happened to be facebook friends with I find I like them much better. I think it's the confirmation that we have both decided to accept that fact we are indeed "friends".

Likewise, I have had two occasions in which I have had my friendship declined. In truth, I didn't care for either individual very much before I put myself out there, which oddly makes me feel vulnerable, and requested my "friendship" be "accepted", but now I carry a little bit of hate in me for each of them...yes, hate (I know, this is the basis of a multitude of my issues, actually hating someone because they didn't facebook friend me, but it is really another blog).

There was a time Gioconda and I had a little competition going on who could obtain more "friends". It was actually during this period of time I requested my two rejections, or that is what I am telling myself- it was a numbers game....

At this point she has 322, so I am almost a good 100 down. Sometime I will troll her list to see if there is anyone I can pilfer, even a distant cousin I met when her parents renewed their vows in 2007 is fair game to me. On those fringe requests I'll add a little note, "I'm not sure you remember me, I'm Giooonda's partner," and then I'll add something that will connect us.

"We both love black pugs!"

That typically does it. I haven't gone thru her list recently, and I can usually pick up at lest 10-15 people.

Although in the World of Lesbian's being friends, real friends not just "friends" with your ex is not an odd occasion, having my spouse be friends with my ex's mother was a stretch.

I have not and will not request her.

"I don't understand it, you and Denise are friends, you and Paula (Denise's partner) are friends, and I AM friends with Denise , Paula and Denise's mother, why don't you just ask her," Gioconda said.

"I can't. The relationship ended terribly," I replied.

"Clearly, everyone is over it," she said and then dropped the conversation.

For a multitude of reasons, there are just those people I can't bear to become "friends" with. The sister of a woman I dated who after she broke up with me I stalked (to the point of obtaining employment where she worked), to the guy from high school who I broke up with my best friend after he became Student Body President, and Denise's mother.

I don't hold anything against any of them, I just can't agree that we are "friends".