People are insane about this sport.
I don't get it.
Because I like events only in theory, apparently, the idea of attending this event, in the middle of July, seemed like a good idea to me in the spring...and I may have been drunk.
We had fantastic seats, about ten rows up from the field and directly in the center...but we were watching soccer, so did it really fucking matter? We are watching men in polyester outfits kick a ball on a field, isn't that the same at any level?
I'm not a big fan of any sport, but I really enjoy a good draft beer and hot dog in a stadium setting. I will attend a Sparks game, but I am required to go to at least 2 games a season, or it effects my lesbian standing- I'm a diamond member.
I will say, without hesitation, I was -by far- the most unenthusiastic person in the crowd...even the guy selling (three stacked trays) of lemonaide---going up and down the stairs-- had a better time at the game than I did.
My problem with soccer is I just don't understand what all the fuss is about. For the past 6 years I have gone to more soccer games (Dylan and Aidan play) than I have flossed my teeth, and I have to say flossing my teeth would at the very least eliminate plaque...watching soccer just pisses me off. It the way the spectators react to soccer that really frosts my balls.
Soccer fans are ape shit about soccer, and it is all very personal.
Aidan tells me on You Tube he has watched clips of riots at soccer games
"It happens more than you would think," he said.
"Do you understand rioting over a game that you have no direct involvement, or any real stake in the outcome?" I asked.
"Well..," he replied.
Of the 80,000 in the crowd 79,999 were in rapture.
After the game I got a hot dog from a guy in the parking lot cooking it on a camping stove in a grocery cart. Wrapped in bacon and charred just the right amount, it may have been one of the five best hot dogs of my life.
Three days later I was still talking about it.
"I just can't pin point what about it made it so good. It was as if he liberated the soul of the hot dog, cooking it the way it was meant to be cooked," I said.
"We were ten rows up in the middle of the field, in a capacity crowd and the only thing you talk about is the shopping cart dog," Gioconda replied.
I'm not ashamed.
The next game I am not going to get a ticket, I'll just be waiting outside in the parking lot, were the magic really happens.
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