This June when I attended my Grandmother's memorial service I discovered something rather unsettling. Going through my Grandmother's cards and letters I found a card my mother had sent to my Grandmother days after my birth.
The following is a direct quote;
"We think she is fine. She does have tiny far set eyes and kinda low forehead, but I guess they all look alike at this age..."
The first thought my mother had in her mind when she looked at me after my birth was that I was Down Syndrome.
"You thought I was Down Syndrome," I said.
"No...No... that wasn't it," she lied in response.
My sister laughed and I knew, my mother thought, even days after my birth I had a significant chromosomal defect. Granted it was 1963, but really, days after I arrived wouldn't someone have already discussed it with my parents had I, in fact, been Down Syndrome.
I know my mother, and she by sending the note to my Grandmother she was giving the heads up.
Hey, we're thinking its ok, but we may have a retard on our hands.
My Great Grandfather used to list the numbers of Grandchildren and Great Grandchildren he had then say, " And not a retarded person in the bunch."
Like this is some sort of accomplishment.
After the twins were born the doctor asked me if we had genetic testing done prior to the birth because Sadie's head looked oddly shaped. It completely flipped me out, but I didn't go putting it down in writing so that one day after my death she finds out that within minutes of her birth I was thinking- great, "special needs".
It got me thinking, maybe I did have a little touch of Down Syndrome, but I googled it and discovered it is a pretty much all or nothing situation. But what if I am a very high functioning retarded person who just happened to try really hard and the combination of those two factors took me to where I am today.
If it gets me into the Special Olympics I'm not objecting.
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