Pine Wood Derby

Gioconda says we have to watch the baby DVD's today.  We have one about the language of the cry, which explains what the different cries mean,  which is news to me because I generally find all crying sounds the same...and another one about how to calm a baby, as a baby doesn't have the neurological ability to calm itself until after two months.

Honestly, there are times I find it difficult to calm myself and I am about 44 years and 10 months from this demarcation.  One word, Ativan, this is how I calm myself.

Last night I went to my sister's house after spending the day gambling with my mother.  I love to gamble, but I hate to loose, and yesterday I was a big looser, so by the time I got to my sister's I was a little rough around the edges.

My sister had just come home from a pine wood derby at which her 9 year old son Parker participated with his boy scout troupe.

I was a looser at the tables, and Parker was a looser at the derby.

Apparently, he had just calmed himself (he is 9) from the trauma of the night.

"The entire left side of his shirt was wet from crying," his older brother Drew told me. 

"His car barely made it down the ramp, I think the wheels were on too tight," my sister added.

I'm not saying this is right, but the thought of this wood car stuck on the ramp, with the other cars whizzing by was gut busting funny to me.  To add insult to injury, there were 6 cars in the race, and 5 trophies, which meant Parker was to go home empty handed.

In an attempt to mitigate further humiliation my sister and Parker abandoned the car at the derby, and left prior to the award ceremony.

In fairness when I saw him he seemed as though he had processed the loss, that was until I said the following;

"Hey Parker, I heard your car won at the derby-NOT."  

First of all, who says NOT anymore, and second who says this to a kid who was so upset his entire left side was wet from crying- the answer would be me. 

Parker ran into the living room and threw himself on the sofa crying.

I'm not saying it was right, but still, even with the tears on the face of my nephew, this was still funny to me.  I did apologize to him and told him I knew I was insensitive.

"I hope you aren't going to talk that way to your daughters," my sister said.  I then came to a realization, and that was - I might.

A few months ago Dylan (the 16 year old) failed his driving test the first time he took it.  I saw this as an opportunity to tell him the 16 year old dwarf on a reality show I watched took his driving test, and even though he has little short legs and he has to use blocks to reach the car pedals, even through those challenges, he passed his driving test the first time.  

I added I had seen a show about siamese twin girls, who is really one person with two heads, one head controlling the left side, the other the right side, and that those unfortunate girls had recently taken a driving test, and passed it on the first time...dwarfs and two headed people had no problem passing. 

The other day I played the basketball game of HORSE with Aidan (the 14 year old), and although I didn't kick his ass, I beat him.  I pointed out to him, I was a 45 year old woman with very limited athletic abilities and I STILL beat him in a shooting game, and based on my performance I might be a starter for his team.

Keeping in mind, those are just the things I have said that I can readily recall.

In my world, what I said to Parker was merely conversation.

Today I'll look on Amazon for a sensitivity DVD.