Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Autistic

This weekend over a pleasant lunch Gioconda informed me she thought I might be autistic.

Really?

We were at a place that has abut 18 flat screen televisions.  Typically, I try and avoid situations which have distractions when with Gioconda.   For some reason she is not diverted by the constant stimulus.

On this particular day we got set by a set playing women's college volley ball.  Ok, I'm a dyke.  There is no possible way I can sit within the proximity of women's college any sport and not be completely drawn in.

I lost eye contact for a little over a minute which provoked the attack.

Gioconda: You really can't focus, I think you may have a organic brain disorder.

Jody: I am completely focused on the volley ball game, I'm just not focusing where you want me to focus.  Forcing me to sit here is like placing a a bowl of rice before a starving Ethiopian.  I can't keep myself from it.

It is at this point the conversation takes a turn.

Gioconda; It just seems strange to me that you are care about your relationship with animals than you do about your relationship with humans.  I think you might be autistic,

Jody: I never knew autistic people even liked animals.

This is my only  defense, because it is true.  Although not completely convinced I am autistic-- granted I really don't like to be touched, feel utterly drained by human interaction, and sincerely desire to live away and apart from most of civilization- it is true I spend an inordinate amount of time and energy on the animals (and there are many) in my life.

I can say with out doubt, that I am less upset by cleaning up a pile of dog vomit than I am in picking up anything after one of the boys.  For me it all about intent.

Are there categories I fall into in the DSM- certainly, but autistic?- I just feel like someone should have noticed before the age of 45- I mean, doesn't that seem like a late diagnosis.

" I think I would call you an introvert," my mother said.

"I hadn't really thought about you as autistic," she added, as if it was a concept she would now ponder.




 




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