Diapers

Tonight while lifting Camille up to smell her butt, it occurred to me...how did this happen?

With twins when you smell something- and the very strange part of this is that I can decipher actual poop from just gas-you can't be sure which butt needs attention.

I remember watching my sister sniff the hind end of her first baby.

"You're smelling his ass?" I asked.

"It's better than sticking your finger in it," she replied.

Apparently those were the two options, stick your nose in it, or put your hand in it.

In theory I thought it would be better to risk it on my hand, than to risk taking a big whiff of baby shit.

In practice I've found my sister was right. The smell test is easier, although I've found that most of the time if there is a suspicion of poop- there is poop.

Last summer we went to dinner with a friend who has a daughter, Sophia, who is just a month younger than the girls. Sophia's diaper needed changing and although forewarned it could be bad, I volunteered to do the task.

I mean, at the time I had changed hundreds of diapers, it was just another one of the many I thought.

I thought wrong. I am literally still haunted by it, I dry heaved for over a week. Of the disgusting moments in my life, this was in the top five.

Later Gioconda told me she couldn't believe I was willing to do it.

"You should never volunteer to change the diaper of a baby that is not yours," she said.

It's one of those things I wish she would have revealed to me earlier.